In this exciting and original work, Gerald Alper, illuminates the crucial elements that together constitute intimacy. Knowing If It's the Real Thing offers a radical departure from today's popular, yet mythological belief that if two people stay together, in an adaptive, productive, and moderately mutually enhancing way, they will achieve the most a relationship can offer.
Some issues discussed in the book are the basic ingredients and rudimentary ground rules of "postmodern intimacy;" how to discover the arena in which one feels most comfortable in expressing intimate feelings; the many ways that sincere efforts to connect can completely misfire; and how to build up defenses, dodge self-reproach, and retain one's dignity and sense of trust following a serious break-up.
Gerald Alper, M.S., a practicing psychotherapist since 1979 and fellow of the American Institute for Psychotherapy and Psychoanalysis, is the author of Self Defense in a Narcissistic World: The New Everyday Addiction to Power Trips (Hamilton Books, 2004).